Intro
00:00:00Ariel New shares her journey of learning to consciously guide and sustain conversational flow, emphasizing the importance of shifting energies during interactions for maintaining a smooth conversation. She highlights the challenges she faced in controlling the flow and expresses her commitment to self-actualization.
Changeability
00:01:07Changeability is essential to keep both yourself and others engaged. It involves maintaining a certain energy level with ups and downs, without being chaotic, to avoid becoming dry or awkward.
Breathing
00:01:36Breathing techniques for regulating the nervous system in real-time. Importance of active breathing during moments of anxiety and high energy. Example of actively breathing while talking fast to maintain flow and calmness.
Mood shifts
00:02:41Mood shifts are a powerful tool to maintain attention and avoid awkwardness in conversations. Shifting from serious to funny or sincere to lighthearted helps sustain energy and engagement.
Speed shifts
00:04:11The ability to shift from fast to slow speech and vice versa is a valuable tactic. Fast-to-slow transitions help manage anxiety and regulate energy levels during conversation. It's important to be comfortable with these speed changes, which can be achieved through nervous system regulation and conscious breathing.
Focus or intimacy shifts
00:05:21The speaker uses focus shifts to transition smoothly between topics, taking a break and then shifting the topic to maintain flow. Intimacy shifts involve redirecting attention from group settings to individuals or vice versa, creating a dynamic interaction.
Genuine curiosity
00:06:41Asking questions with genuine curiosity is effective in one-on-one and group conversations. Actively listen to find points of curiosity and ask genuine questions, which triggers a genuine response from the other person.
Letting others lead
00:07:53Allowing others to take the lead in conversations and storytelling can create space for pauses, breaks, and questions. Taking breaks during storytelling allows for digestion of information and natural flow of conversation. Avoid over-explaining or repeating words and phrases to maintain a clear communication style.
Intention
00:10:21Before speaking, it's important to clarify our intention and what we want to express. Taking a moment to think about the story or message we want to convey helps in staying focused, clear, and succinct. This practice enables us to be captivating, confident, vulnerable, and honest simultaneously.
Dont force exaggerate
00:12:33Don't force or exaggerate your flow. Experiment with different energy expressions in social settings and be compassionate with yourself when feeling uncomfortable. Focus on the present moment, story, and content rather than pushing specific skills.