Simon Sinek: The Number One Reason Why You’re Not Succeeding | E145

Leaders and students are not taught how to have uncomfortable conversations, which is more valuable for life than trigonometry. Understanding the 'why' behind our actions is crucial, as many people struggle with making decisions inconsistent with their true purpose. The speaker emphasizes the importance of learning from others and seeking a better version of oneself.

Discovering the Importance of 'Why' The speaker shares his personal experience of drifting from his 'why' and realizing its significance. He explains how he pretended to be happy and successful while feeling drained, until a close friend noticed something was wrong. This led to a cathartic moment that lifted the weight off his shoulders, prompting him to seek a solution based on human decision-making biology.

Trauma or Insecurity as Driving Forces The discussion delves into the idea that people's 'why' may stem from trauma or insecurity rather than intentional choices. The concept of discovering one's why at an early age is explored, emphasizing that it is always positive and striving for something despite potential origins in trauma. Examples are given from individual athletes who set selfish goals leading to depression when those goals are achieved.

Building Purpose Beyond Selfish Goals The narrative shifts towards building purpose beyond finite selfish goals by serving others and contributing positively to society. It contrasts personal achievement with fulfillment derived from serving others, highlighting the importance of setting goals within a broader context for long-term impact. An example is shared about an NFL player driven not by personal success but by using sports as a platform for giving back later in life.

The Flaw of Arbitrary Goals Creating continuous goals is healthier than setting arbitrary event-based goals. The speaker shares personal experiences of setting short-term fitness goals and the flaws of such goal-setting approach.

Importance of Self-Awareness Self-awareness and seeking awareness through learning, relationships, and health are essential for personal growth. The importance of being present for others rather than focusing solely on self-improvement is emphasized.

Sacrificing for Others The value in sacrificing for others as a way to find purpose in life. Emphasizing that actions like mindfulness, communication improvement, and physical health have a higher purpose when done with the intention to benefit others.

The speaker reflects on finding purpose in working out, aiming to be healthy and attractive for his girlfriend. He discusses the idea of aesthetic improvements as a source of confidence, drawing parallels with plastic surgery. Additionally, he shares how meeting commitments to others motivates him more than self-discipline.

The Foundation of Personal Growth Self-awareness is the foundation of personal growth, and it's essential to seek feedback from others in addition to self-assessment. Reading books alone isn't enough if we're unable to read ourselves. Building trust by asking for help rather than offering it allows us to grow and evolve.

Nurturing Close Relationships Asking for help is a vulnerable yet powerful act that strengthens relationships. It's important not only for individuals but also for building a strong community or tribe. Taking care of our closest relationships ensures the strength and well-being of our tribe.

Creating a Culture of Seeking Feedback Practical advice on creating a culture of seeking feedback from colleagues, partners, and friends. Emphasizes the importance of reacting positively to feedback and shares examples from the army rangers' peer review system and a 360-degree review process implemented in an organization.

Peer Review for Advancement Discusses how the army rangers use peer reviews as part of advancement criteria. Shares insights into implementing a 360-degree review process within an organization to identify weaknesses, strengths, blind spots, and create a safe environment for open feedback.

Leadership's Role in Creating Honest Environment Explains how leadership sets the tone for honesty within an organization by replacing judgment with curiosity. Highlights the impact of sanctioning lies at any level within an organization and encourages honest communication without being mean or brutal.

'Honesty' vs 'Brutal Honesty' & Timing 'Honesty' is not always about being brutally honest; it can be delivered with consideration for timing and context. Illustrates this point through personal experiences involving giving constructive criticism while considering timing to avoid hurting feelings.'

The Long-Term Negative Impact of Lying in Business Lying within teams and organizations can lead to ethical fading, where people make highly unethical decisions while believing they are acting within their own ethical frameworks. This phenomenon often starts from the top leadership due to excessive pressure to meet short-term goals. Ethical fading is fueled by rationalization, slippery slope behavior, and excessive use of euphemisms that mask the true impact of decisions.

Impact on Relationships Due to Dishonesty Dishonesty in romantic relationships leads to resentment and unalignment over time. Small lies create a culture of false expectations and discomfort when trying to maintain those lies. The avoidance of uncomfortable conversations results in loneliness, misunderstandings, and negative impacts on mental health.

Avoidance Behavior in Professional Settings In professional settings, individuals exhibit conflict-avoidant behavior leading them to quit jobs rather than have difficult conversations such as asking for a raise or addressing issues with management. This avoidance also extends into personal interactions like breakups or ghosting someone instead of having an uncomfortable conversation.

Understanding Generational Traits The younger generation, particularly Gen Z, exhibits traits of activism and a willingness to stand up for their beliefs. They are more likely to voice dissatisfaction with their jobs and take action rather than passively accept it. This behavior can be seen as both a strength and a weakness depending on the context.

Approaching Generational Differences with Empathy Instead of labeling generational characteristics as strengths or weaknesses, it's important to approach them with empathy. Understanding the reasons behind certain behaviors allows for addressing skill gaps rather than categorizing an entire generation based on perceived liabilities.

Impact of Remote Work on Social Connection The workplace is undergoing a significant transformation post-COVID, with remote work becoming more prevalent. This shift has led to increased feelings of loneliness and isolation among employees, contributing to rising rates of depression and anxiety in younger generations.

'Great Resignation' - A Reflection on Corporate Culture The 'Great Resignation' is not just about people pursuing their dreams or the end of government checks; it's an indictment on decades of substandard corporate culture and poor leadership. Employees are leaving because they no longer fear the unknown as much as they used to, leading them to seek better working environments elsewhere.

Culture vs Perks: The Importance of Purpose Companies that focus solely on perks like office design, free lunches, or entertainment amenities may miss the mark when it comes to creating a meaningful company culture. Instead, fostering a sense of purpose and belonging within the organization can lead employees to make sacrifices for something greater than themselves.

'Faster Horse' Fallacy: Building Loyalty Through Shared Cause Purpose-driven organizations create opportunities for individuals to contribute towards something bigger than themselves. By offering a compelling cause rather than simply asking what employees want from their workplace environment (e.g., bars or basketball hoops), companies can inspire loyalty through shared values and collective goals.

Purposeful Goals in Podcasting The trap of being consumed by chart rankings and the need for a more purposeful goal. The reasons behind starting the podcast, including personal brand growth and providing honest conversations that benefit listeners. Recognizing the purpose of truth-telling and evaluating success beyond metrics.

Balancing Metrics with Purpose The importance of recognizing the hierarchy between goals and causes, avoiding obsession with numbers at the expense of ethical integrity. Examples of gaming ranking systems to achieve number one status without genuine credibility. Emphasizing surprise over sustained number one status as a more fulfilling approach.

Sustaining Impact Beyond Rankings Acknowledging that being number one is temporary, preparing for 'what next' after achieving top rankings. Balancing ambition with staying true to core values while building an audience through live studio sessions in both UK and LA.

Simon's why is to inspire people to do the things that inspire them, creating a better world. His just cause is to create a world where people wake up inspired and fulfilled by their work. He has started his own imprint with Penguin Random House called Optimism Press, publishing books that advance this cause.

The Cost of Brilliance Brilliance often comes with a dark side, and there's a relationship between brilliance and struggle. The speaker doesn't see himself as brilliant but rather as someone who simplifies complex things by asking lots of questions. He struggles with reading due to ADHD but has learned how to learn without books.

Writing Without Reading The speaker admits that he struggles to read books and hasn't finished many, yet he enjoys writing because it allows him to cut boring sections and include humor that interests him. His genuine curiosity about why things work drives his love for dissecting ideas.

Engaging Delivery & Wisdom Despite struggling with reading, the speaker excels in delivering engaging content due to his ability to hold others' attention while sharing wisdom in an understandable way. This sets him apart from individuals who may be highly intelligent but struggle to simplify complex ideas for broader audiences.

The Power of Questions In this chapter, the host discusses a closing tradition on the podcast where the last guest asks a question for the next guest. The conversation revolves around how guests write questions without knowing who they're writing it for, creating an interconnected dialogue among all guests. Additionally, there is a discussion about happiness and living a life worth living.

Contributing to Change This chapter focuses on contributing to solving societal problems such as police reform and reinventing modern business practices. The speaker expresses that their happiness lies in making progress towards these goals rather than achieving complete solutions. They emphasize leaving behind tools and ideas that others can use to continue their work after them.