Greatness, Marriage, Parenthood, & Climbing New Mountains | @ChrisBumstead | EP 423

Jordan Peterson announces a new tour for 2024, starting in February and spanning through June. The tour will cover 51 cities in the US with special guests. More information is available on jordanbpeterson.com including ticketing details.

A man experiences a sudden emotional breakdown and is hesitant to show his vulnerability to his wife, fearing judgment. However, the wife responds with understanding and reassurance, expressing unconditional love and support.

Chris Bumstead discusses the utility of aiming high and the opportunity cost that comes with it. He talks about balancing single-minded obsession with developing a full life, integrating his relationship into his professional pursuits, and preparing for parenthood.

Debuting as a professional bodybuilder involves transitioning from the amateur to the professional league by earning a pro card through national level shows. The world of bodybuilding has distinct divisions for amateurs and professionals, with the ultimate goal being to qualify for and compete at the Olympia, which is considered the Super Bowl of bodybuilding.

The Classic Physique division differs from open bodybuilding by focusing on a more aesthetic, Arnold-era look with a weight cap. The division has only been around since 2016, and the speaker has won five out of eight years. In bodybuilding, weight fluctuates due to bulking and cutting phases for muscle growth and fat stripping during competition prep.

During the 12 to 16 week period, the diet regimen involves gradually reducing calorie intake while increasing cardio. The off-season diet consists of consuming about 5,000-5,500 calories and during prep it reduces to around 1,500 calories with an emphasis on protein intake.

Bodybuilding is a unique sport that focuses on aesthetics and physique rather than performance. Athletes must balance their appearance with their gym performance, making it different from other sports. The key is to maintain the right protein ratio while avoiding excess body fat for optimal results.

Early Start in Weightlifting Started weightlifting at 14 due to athletic background and lack of skill in team sports. Found passion for strength training, excelled as sports became more competitive. Received coaching from brother-in-law, transitioned into bodybuilding.

Physical Transformation Through Weightlifting Weightlifting led to muscle gain, improved posture, coordination and confidence. Started as a lean skinny kidish teenager and gradually built muscle mass which boosted confidence and allowed control over personal development.

Building Discipline Through Passion Starting with a natural inclination towards fitness, the speaker gradually developed discipline and passion for working out. Over time, consistent effort led to increased joy and commitment to the gym routine. Despite initial self-consciousness and lack of knowledge about weightlifting, dedication grew as results became evident.

Early Gym Experience & Developing Independence The speaker's journey began in his basement with makeshift weights before joining a gym at 14 through a summer program. Raised by parents who instilled independence through responsibilities like chores and homework, he learned the value of hard work from an early age. Determined to excel in sports, he overcame transportation obstacles by running long distances just to get to the gym.

The gym is not as judgmental as people think. Everyone was a beginner at some point, and the fitness community is encouraging and inclusive. People are focused on improving themselves rather than judging others.

To become a master at something, you must first admit that you are not already a master. This means allowing yourself to be the fool and starting at the lowest rung without pretending to know more than you do. Highly successful people embrace being the fool and ask necessary 'stupid' questions while making incremental progress over time.

Chris Bumstead shares his struggle with public speaking and how he overcame the fear by immersing himself in it. He initially felt terrified, anxious, and embarrassed but gradually improved through practice and exposure to more speaking opportunities.

Confronting fears voluntarily triggers radical biological changes at the cellular and psychological levels. This process is well-documented among psychologists dealing with anxiety, where facing fears in graduated doses is the universal pathway to overcoming anxiety. By voluntarily confronting fear, you not only develop specific skills but also become capable of confronting everything that's frightening.

Overcoming Fear of Public Speaking Chris shares his experience with public speaking, revealing that he had a speech impediment and was afraid of being judged. He explains how he worked on differentiating between his public persona and the real him, embracing his fears as an opportunity for growth. By focusing on being himself rather than seeking approval, Chris gained more self-confidence.

Embracing Nervousness as Growth Opportunity Chris discusses how he used to feel nervous before speaking in front of people but learned to see it as a chance for personal development. He emphasizes the importance of accepting oneself and not seeking validation from others. Over time, Chris has become more confident by believing in himself and acknowledging his track record.

When stepping on stage, it's important to consider what you want from the audience. Presenting a false front to be liked is not genuine and doesn't lead to real success as a public speaker. Instead, focus on being authentic and recognizing that the audience wants you to succeed.

Speaking your truth, regardless of the consequences, is a powerful and honest approach. It involves saying what you believe to be true without succumbing to fear or deception. By focusing on making thoughts clearer for oneself and others, it creates an authentic connection with the audience.

Understanding Nervousness and Excitement Feeling nervous or excited is a result of heightened non-specific arousal, which can be reframed as excitement rather than fear. By changing the frame of mind to focus on hard work and anticipation, it's possible to embrace nerves as part of the experience. This shift in perspective allows for being present and joyful during high-stakes opportunities.

Reframing Anxiety into Excitement The body's response to new situations involves heightened non-specific arousal, which can lead to anxiety or excitement. Reframing these responses as positive anticipation instead of fear helps avoid feedback loops that escalate into panic attacks. Enduring anxiety before an event often leads to decreased arousal once the event begins, demonstrating that withstanding anxiety diminishes its impact.

Distinguishing between nervousness on stage due to judgment of physique and work, compared to anxiety about public speaking. The speaker's experience in bodybuilding has helped reduce nerves, while the pressure and expectation have increased with time.

Conquering fear is not about the absence of fear, but rather about getting better at dealing with it. Success and experience contribute to confidence on stage, but true bravery comes from confronting fears despite security or success. Security does not make you brave; instead, it's the decision to confront what you're afraid of that makes you truly brave.

The Drive to Continue Despite achieving wild success, the question of why continue arises. The speaker reflects on his journey as a champion and realizes that it's not just about winning trophies but about personal growth through self-discovery and overcoming challenges. He shares how suppressing emotions led to feeling less present in life, leading him to seek joy and fear rather than numbness.

Finding New Challenges The speaker discusses the value of finding new challenges for personal growth. He questions whether he needs an even higher mountain or if lateral movement can also lead to growth. The conversation shifts towards fatherhood as a new challenge with limitless opportunities for personal development, along with deepening relationships such as marriage and public communication skills.

Future Authoring Program The Future Authoring program, available at selfauthoring.com, helps individuals imagine themselves five years in the future and consider what they want for their lives. It encourages envisioning the kind of person one wants to be, facing challenges, remediating flaws, pursuing interests and excitement while engaging in honest dialogue with oneself.

Personal Vision Development Develop a vision by considering various aspects such as relationships with friends and family, educational opportunities, mental and physical well-being, occupation pursuit & thriving outside work. Additionally explore how to be of service to others. The focus is on microvisions that provide direction for personal growth rather than specific achievements or outcomes.

Jordan Peterson emphasizes the importance of maximizing productivity by asking 'how much can I do in the shortest possible time?' He views it as a fun game and applies this question to everything he does, focusing on efficiency to accomplish multiple tasks effectively.

True mastery is marked by the spirit of play. Mastery in a discipline allows one to approach it playfully, indicating true expertise. Children love playing and can pull parents into that playful world, creating an enjoyable and productive relationship.

Life Beyond Bodybuilding Chris reflects on his career in bodybuilding, acknowledging that it is not a lifelong pursuit for him. He emphasizes the importance of focusing on fatherhood and marriage, realizing that being Mr. Olympia takes away from other aspects of life.

Impactful Role Modeling Chris shares how he has inspired others through his vulnerability and authenticity. He recounts a touching moment with a young fan who thanked him for helping overcome bullying due to Tourette's syndrome by sharing Chris's experience with embarrassment about his lisp.

Transitioning Priorities As Chris matures, he shifts focus from external achievements to personal growth and helping others grow too. He expresses excitement about applying lessons learned in bodybuilding to family life and mentoring younger individuals within the community.

Jocko Willink's Self-Development Journey Jocko Willink, known for his discipline and leadership in the military, found deep meaning in mentoring others. His experience as a leader taught him the value of modeling appropriate conduct and helping people develop. He emphasizes that there is no deeper pleasure than seeing positive effects on others through one's actions.

The Price of Extreme Success To achieve extreme success, insane dedication and hyperfocus are necessary. This level of commitment comes with an opportunity cost - it becomes harder to balance multiple commitments effectively. However, stepping back from obsessive concerns can lead to more balanced personal growth with limitless potential for improvement.

The Power of Emotional Honesty Embracing emotional honesty allows for relatability and connection with others, as it balances the admission of weaknesses with celebrating successes. This approach opens doors for younger individuals to identify with personal struggles and find inspiration in overcoming them.

Champion Mentality: Balancing Success and Relationships Success does not have to come at the cost of meaningful relationships. The 'champion mentality' is about progress, growth, and winning on one's own terms without sacrificing connections or happiness. It emphasizes that being alone at the top is not fulfilling; instead, success should be pursued while maintaining meaningful relationships.

Building Trust and Honesty in a Relationship The speaker discusses the importance of honesty, trust, and communication in his relationship with his wife. They have committed to speaking the truth and not leaving any issues unresolved. By facing their problems head-on, they have built a strong foundation of trust that has allowed them to move towards marriage without fear or doubt.

Confronting Personal Issues Together The couple navigated through personal challenges by confronting each other's pasts and showing vulnerability. The speaker emphasized the significance of being able to share one's deepest self with someone who loves you unconditionally. Their ability to confront problems together strengthened their bond as they prepared for parenthood.

Sharing Success Through Joint Problem-Solving The speaker highlighted how working through problems jointly deepens experiences within a long-term relationship. He expressed gratitude for having someone who supports him during difficult times, making triumphs more profound when shared with a loved one.

The true reward in triumph isn't the prize, but having someone who saw it through alongside you. The deep emotional connection of sharing the journey with a loved one is more beautiful than any public acclaim or award.

Preparing for Parenthood Jordan shares his experience of becoming a parent and the initial challenges he faced, including being ready to have a baby and not feeling firmly situated in his career. He emphasizes the importance of understanding your role as a man at the beginning of parenthood, taking care of both your wife and her needs during pregnancy and after childbirth.

Bonding with the Baby Jordan discusses how men can engage with infants from an early age through subtle play interactions. He highlights that it's crucial for fathers to support their wives by watching over them during this time when they are primarily responsible for caring for the newborn. Jordan also advises on managing sibling rivalry if there is another child in the family.

Building Strong Relationships Chris reflects on his excitement about building relationships with his future child while acknowledging that it will require communication, preparation, and understanding between him and his partner. He plans to communicate openly with his partner about supporting her throughout pregnancy, allowing her space to bond with their baby initially before reconnecting afterwards.

When a new baby arrives, it can lead to feelings of jealousy and resentment within the family. The husband may feel left out as the wife is preoccupied with the new baby. This can give rise to resentments that tear families apart. To manage this, regular dates between partners are essential in order to prioritize their relationship during the busy period of caring for a newborn.

Long-Term Planning and Togetherness The importance of long-term planning and togetherness in the face of new challenges, such as pregnancy and business growth. Planning ahead for quality time together is crucial for maintaining connection amidst busy schedules.

Balancing Time Together and Apart Recognizing the need to balance time spent together with alone time, negotiating optimal conditions for happiness within a relationship. Anticipating upcoming life changes like a new baby while also preparing for future career milestones.

Embracing Life Transitions Embracing the transition from one phase of life to another, acknowledging that leaving something enjoyable behind can lead to even greater opportunities. Discussing plans for future conversations on family dynamics and personal growth.